


Brave Enough

by RedThreat



Series: ReddishPeachSongfictionCollection [1]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Angst, Experimental Style, F/M, Grief, Identity, Loss, Romance, Songfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-11-13 06:03:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11178591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedThreat/pseuds/RedThreat
Summary: "In past, present, and future, I love you."She loved a boy doomed to die. He loved a girl for whom he should have never fallen.She could heal him. He could strengthen her.They could be each other's anchor in their seas of tears, lies, and death.But a wall keeps separating them, and, slowly, they are losing each other in the wide sea of their hearts.





	1. Track 1: Lost Girls (Elizabeth)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi.  
> This is a collection of songfiction drabbles (mostly double- and triple-drabbles) based on the album "Brave Enough" by Lindsey Stirling. The quotes at the beginning of the first 14 fragments were taken from the little booklet coming with the CD.
> 
> I've pondered over either putting the fragments in a chronological order or keeping the order of the tracks - in the end, I've settled on the latter. This means that, well, the fragments are not in chronological order, but I hope that this won't be too confusing for you ^^'
> 
> Well, then, I hope you enjoy reading this little collection^^ And I hope that you can figure out what I mean with it - that it is neither too silly nor too confusing.
> 
> This is like nothing I've ever written - and I hope you like it still.

**_“We are all, in a sense, lost. Life is about continuously rediscovering ourselves and making the conscious choice not to hide the hard emotions. It’s the ones who’ve realised they are lost who will find their way.”_ **

* * *

 

 

 

_How much time had passed? How many days had come and gone without me noticing?_

_I did not know. For me, the sun wasn’t rising anymore, wasn’t falling anymore._

_Nothing had a colour; nothing had a taste. I could not feel; I did not want to move. And what I used to love did not bring me joy anymore._

_What had I become?_

_Why had I turned so empty?_

_I could not go on like this, but I could not stop too. I felt numb, and the numbness had become a part of me. A part of me which was so hard to let go._

_It was so odd that I could hold it when I couldn’t hold anything else._

_I had lost my way to go in this forest of life, but I could not weep for its loss. The tears wouldn’t come. And I felt so drained, and I felt so useless…_

_And I kept on falling… and it kept on raining… and no light, no rain fell through the tree crowns and onto me…_

_But then, so sudden, so surprising, the leaves began to fall, and I started crying. I cried, and I couldn’t stop. And my heart wept like the rest of my body._

_I had lost my way to go – and when the tears finally stopped to flow, I knew that the time had come to find something new._

_And I knew that the search would be the hardest I would ever do._

_And, eventually, eventually_ _, I found the courage to step on a new path. To find a new me. To find a me which had gone lost when I had walked on the way I used to see._

_But before I could find her, I found you._

_You whom I had lost. You who had returned when all hope had already vanished._

_And I ran towards you, embraced you – and returned to my old path._

_But kept one foot on the one I had chosen._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every fragment is based on a mixture of the track's title, the accompanying quote, and the actual song. (The fragments are not bound to the actual tune/rhythm of the song but more on what I associated with it when hearing it.) If the song has lyrics, the fragment is also partially based on them.


	2. Track 2: Brave Enough (Ciel)

**_“Vulnerability is not a sign of weakness, it is a manifestation of strength.”_ **

* * *

 

 

 

_When everyone had left me, you had held on to me._

_And no matter how grey the days were, how rude and aloof I behaved around you, you kept on holding on to me, kept on smiling at me._

_No matter what happened, we would dance hand in hand. But now, you were gone, and we only danced on our own._

_You had been by my side for all those years – every time I needed time to forget, every time I needed to pause and rest._

_And only now that you were gone, I realised what I had done to you._

_All those years, I had seen you smiling, had never bothered asking. Asking how you truly felt inside._

_All those years, I had received, had never given. Given the love you deserved._

_All those years, you had held my hand, but I had never held yours._

_In my heart, I had always cherished all the moments we had – all the memories we shared._

_All our dances, all our games, all our quarrels, and our laughter. And I did not let go of them, did not want them to come to an end so soon._

_But I wasn’t your radiance, was only wearing a mask. It wasn’t me whom you needed. It wasn’t me for whom you cried. It wasn’t me for whom you smiled._

_And, still, part of me had wished and hoped, silently and secretly, that you had fallen for me just like I had fallen for you and not for the mask I wore._

_All was a lie – and I was sorry for doing all that to you._

_Would you still be here if I had told you how much you meant to me, I wondered?_

_I wondered and wondered with every second you were gone – would it have made a difference if I had told you all about my lies?_

_If I had been brave enough to tear down my mask?_

_But I had never been brave, had always been a weakling, a coward._

_And now, it was too late._

_You had let go of me – what would happen to me if I let go of you?_

_Behind my mask, I had always been scared – for what would come if everyone left me for once and for all._

_And I wished and wished that I had truly been brave._

_That I could once be brave in my time on Earth._


	3. Track 3: The Arena (Phantomhives/Duet)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is fragment is different to every other piece in this collection, and I hope you still like it! :)

**_“It’s not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”_ **

**_– Theodore Roosevelt_ **

* * *

 

 

 

_We had been born into an arena – shackled to the ground, threads tied around our arms._

_This was the curse which laid on our name, which laid on us._

_Our choices had been taken away._

_We had been pushed into an arena we had never wanted to enter._

_And we could not protest, we could not run away. Our arena was a cage, and we would never be free._

_We had never known a difference. This was who we were. This was the arena in which we fought._

_But that did not mean that we couldn’t fight in our own ways._

_That we couldn’t choose our battles._

_That we couldn’t move, feel, and think on our own._

_That we couldn’t try and break free._

_We learned to move with the weights keeping us down – and every time, they became heavier we slowed down._

_But every time, we learned to walk with more strength than before._

_Because we hoped like all those before us – that one day we could be free._

_On our way, we would shatter._

_We would be laughed at._

_We would break and fall and tumble._

_But we would always stand up again._

_Because it was unlike us to give up._

_This was the battle we had to fight – no matter how much of ourselves we had to sacrifice in order to win._

_No matter what we would have to give, no matter how our souls would break and shatter – one day, we would leave the arena._

_One day, we would be triumphant._

_One day, we would come out twisted and dark with the threads in our hands._

_And we would walk our victory march hand in hand._

_We would never be only puppets on display._

_Would never be only pawns in a game with no chessmen in black and white._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two updates in two days! Why are you asking? It's because, on June 28, 2016, the official music video of "The Arena" came out and I wanted to publish the fragment based on it on the same date one year later.  
> This is the first reason. The second is that the music video came out on my 17th birthday, and I wanted to upload this fragment on my 18th :D


	4. Track 4: The Phoenix (Ciel)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @cleanfreakandshittyglasses: Because I don't like to excessively reply to comments, I will put my answer here: I am happy that you like this so much and thanks for the birthday wish^^
> 
> I hope you and all the others who read this FF enjoy this fragment.

**_“When we dare greatly, we are not only accepting the possibility that we might fail, but the certainty that we will. Victory isn’t given to those who never fall but is awarded to those who learn to rise from the ashes.”_ **

* * *

 

 

 

_It should have been the happiest of days; it had been the saddest of days._

_From light, we had fallen into darkness; from flames, we had fallen into cages._

_We had been alone, alone – where had everyone else gone?_

_But I still had you, and you still had me._

_My sanity, my anchor._

_In this prison of shadows._

_And we had clung to each other when they had come to take you away from me. They, these demons wearing human masks._

_And I had tightly held your hand when they took you away from me._

_I could not let go; I would not let go._

_I could not lose you too._

_But like the ashes from that day, you slipped through my fingers – and a new hand reached out to me._

_The last ember from the ashes had gone out, and I took this hand. Was ready for this path to go._

_Once I had failed._

_Once had been enough._

_I had paid the price to wander this path. Had not risen from the ashes as a phoenix – had stepped out of the cage a phantom, a lie._

_And my light burned darkly, and the flames burned lightly._

_From now on, victory was the only option I had left._

_From now on, I would not lose again._

_And revenge would lead my way._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot wait for Chapter 130 to come out - or, at least, the spoilers to appear.
> 
> Short note: _Every_ fragment based on a completely instrumental track was written before I've even uploaded the first chapter. Just wanted to say this here before I forget it.


End file.
